OK. You wake up. You look out of the bedroom window. The sun’s light fights to go through some dark clouds. Wind. You can hear it up here on the seventh floor. Another typical spring day on this island. Slowly you get dressed. Jeans and T-shirt. Again. The same like yesterday, but who is going to notice. Jacket, bag, keys and off to work.
You walk all the way, barely paying attention to cars or people. Incoherent thoughts going through your mind. Faces, places, a book, a phone call, a movie, crazy plans. You are there. Shit, how fast does time go by? Log in, coffee, emails, a quick look at the newspapers. Killings, corruption, wars, welcome to another beautiful day on planet Earth.
For one more time pretend you don’t care. You can admit to yourself, you ‘ve get used to all these. Music, you put your headphones on. Ready to start working. Really? Who are you kidding? All you can think of is that dream of yours. What the hell happened to that dream? More emails, some pointless conversations. Time for some work. That dream. How can everything else seem so pointless? How can it be that only one thing could give such a different meaning to everything else?
Then get up and follow it. Entertaining thought, but no thanks. Why? Some other people could get hurt, you don’t want that. Really? How thoughtfull of you. Are you sure that you are not just afraid? Afraid to find the truth and then realise you don’t like it? Well, ignorance is bliss, they say. Screw them, they have no guts. Well, it seems that neither have you.
So? The clock says it’s time to go home. You get home, admire the view, get on the couch. Still thinking of that dream. How easy is to let it go? Bury it somewhere deep and find another dream. Can you do that? Sure. Done. Tomorrow is going to be a different day, a new day. Really? Do you believe that?
OK. You wake up. You look out of the bedroom window…
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Comment by anna — April 19, 2007 @ 9:24
someone could get hurt? So what? People get hurt all the time. Stop fooling yourself, they would get over it sooner than you think (maybe even sooner than you would like).
you are just afraid… but it’s ok, everyone is.
Comment by Kwstis — April 23, 2007 @ 1:12
Καλά, το “sooner than you would like” είναι όλα τα λεφτά!
Το θέμα είναι όντως ο φόβος. Ιδιαίτερα όταν έχεις πάρει παλιότερα το ρίσκο και δε βγήκε σε καλό. Ως πότε έχεις το κουράγιο να ρισκάρεις; Και πόσο εύκολο είναι τελικά να πείσεις τον εαυτό σου ότι δεν αξίζει και να συμβιβαστείς;
Τελικά, κάποιες φορές κάνουμε τα πράγματα πιο δύσκολα από όσο είναι πραγματικά…
Comment by anna — April 25, 2007 @ 12:40
Κοιτα, τα πραγματα τα ζυγιζεις, αναλογα με τις πιθανοτητες επιτυχιας, δε σου λεω να πηδηξεις και τελειως στο γκρεμο… το να συμβιβαστεις δεν ειναι καθολου κακο, αρκει να το κανεις ως αποφαση κι οχι ως ανημπορια. Και προπαντως να μην χρησιμοποιεις σαν δικαιολογια “τους αλλους”…
Παντως, ποσες φορες δεν βγηκε σε καλο το ρισκο; Μια, δυο; Κι αν σου κατσει;;
:Ρ